Dear Diary I Seem To Be Dead

by Dead Tank Records

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1.
02:27
2.
03:29
3.
09:24
4.
03:57
5.
05:59
6.
06:53

credits

released June 6, 2003

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Dead Tank Records Jacksonville, Florida

Independent DIY label from Florida w/ a huge online distro. Since 2001.

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Track Name: 09.11.01
"Blood has been spilt. Now plans are being laid. The attack is being outlined. We are marching to war. And we have got to stick together against our common foes. They're lurking on our streets, hiding in plain sight. Oil has been spilt. Now agendas are being made. Clandestine attacks--we are marching to war. And we have got to stick together against our common foes. They dwell on our fears, twisting our hearts. Yes, there are sides: there is a right, and there is a wrong. And those vengeful puppets--those vengeful puppets--might as well be digging our graves as they dig their own. We are marching to war. We're buying their war."
Track Name: 08.26.20
“Now you have touched the women. Now you have struck a rock. A boulder you've dislodged. You will be crushed. Soon--you will realize that you dance upon the tip of a blade; and the comedy you've made of violence and of rape, the war you've declared on our mothers and sisters, our partners and friends--it's come right back, right back to you doorstep. It's come right back, right back in your face. As you crawl to your hole licking your wounds, your uncompassionate mind will know their pain. You’ll know their pain. Know their pain. If only it were easier to brush away the malignance that you sell, that you sell. Your argument is already written, but those bound and gagged now move and speak. We move and speak. Now you have touched the women. Now you have struck a rock. A boulder you've dislodged. You will be crushed. You'll be crushed.”
Track Name: 03.01.04
"I tried to reach you from the blindside. I tried to teach you, at least inside. Returned from hell with head in hands; paid off debt with both left hands. Cry me blood, wept you hatred. Exhaled life, exhausted waves. It's the way I walked, the way I died--moving to the center. As I lived the last day of my life--moving to the center. Through stagnance and subsidence, the cleaning consumes me. Through persistence and violence, the floodland consumes me. Through stagnance and violence, the floodland consumes me. Through persistence and subsidence, the cleansing consumes me. Red star overhead burns me bright--not to give up. And as I explain it to myself, I lost sense of disbelief. I couldn't reach you... And all I do is hurt in the end. Here is my best effort to you. It's the last great thing that I do. Here is my best effort to you. I couldn't reach you. I always said I'd make my own end"
Track Name: 10.07.02
“Maybe I forgot to tell you how you made me laugh. And maybe I forgot to tell you, how you made me… I drank in inspiration It filled me It pushed me How it pushed me. How it moved me. And maybe you didn't notice how a smile or a nod filled me with elation How it moved me. But nothing lasts forever, and the world is pulled from our feet. And sometimes it's hard. It’s hard not to feel betrayed by your absence, by your resignation. And it's hard not to think that you some how gave up, gave up on what we believed. But nothing lasts forever. And after all is done and we're still alone, I won't be taken And now it's almost impossible to look on the past without being touched by regret. But I'll learn from my mistakes. And I'll learn from your mistakes. And move forward as you pushed me--as you moved me.”
Track Name: 04.08.03
"When I closed my eyes. I could barely see the light. I felt out to the edge of the track. First off, to the left. Then to the right. Why take a chance? Why risk surviving this crash? I could feel it in my feet. Then in the knees. Then in the stomach. I think I hear--screeching and blowing. My eyes fail--screeching and blowing. And force themselves open--screeching and blowing. Why take a chance? Why risk surviving this crash? I think the engine said, I think the engine said. I think I made that up. I think I made that up. We are animals, driven by desires. We are consumed, buying their picture of happiness. We deal in lives, trading people like things. We are machines, turning emotions off and on like a switch. And when I close my eyes, I can barely see the light. Feel out into darkness: nothing--nothing. There is no one to catch me: just me--just me. And somehow this feels right. This is a break from relentless give and take. This is a break, a chance to move on. This is a time of silence, of silence and peace. Alone inside my head."
Track Name: 04.25.03
"I have animated this corpse. I have put into motion that which has not the will to rise. I have taken despair and frustration and terror and used them to fuel action. Independent and driven--yet needing contact for stability and contentment. Sulking in past mistakes, brooding over yesterday's happiness, searching for the key to tomorrow--the answer to right now. But my body won't stop shaking and my eyes can't stay focused. Has decay set in?"